She Shook Me All Night Long

She was a slow machine,

Her motor was filthy,

And frankly, I've seen better.

She was however, an epileptic, and that is the only standard that I maintain. I like it when they go into a seizure while we're making whoopee. There's nothing like it. It makes me feel like my bedroom prowess is the cause of both her involuntary shaking and the foam that has formed around her mouth.

I feel like a real man.